Illustrations by Dayna Patel
Auckland – what a place. With its beautiful (totally warm, not at all
haunted) villas and its gorgeous… motorway… who’d want to live
anywhere else? But the land of opportunity can get expensive from
time to time. Here are ten ways to scrimp in the City of Sails.
1. Live with your parents. Better yet; don’t pay board. Sell it as an
investment – eventually you’ll look after them with your extremely
valuable arts degree.
2. Only eat expired. Avocado toast?! More like soft crackers and
funky Mi Goreng!
3. Do your make up at Farmers. Why buy when you can beat
your face with testers? Beware: the strange clinical lighting and
communal-usage nasties may make you feel sick.
4. Wait for that trust fund to kick in. Your parents set that up,
right? That’s happening, RIGHT?
5. See movies on the cheap days. With the long lines providing
extra distraction, now’s your chance to sneak in.
6. Use your ex’s Netflix. You broke up with them, not Riverdale.
7. Hawk K’ Road designer seconds on TradeMe. “Never worn” by
8. Avoid expensive habits. Like smoking, drinking and having
children before you’re at least 50.
9. Make smart identity choices. Be born into money. Be born
straight. Be born white.
10. Move to Tauranga.