Let's Get Intimate

September 16, 2018

 

Sex. Something many of us engage in. In order to find out more, I released a survey on Debate Magazine’s Facebook page, thus delving deeper into what the sex lives of AUT students are like. As soon as we got 69 responses, I closed off the survey (because I have the humour of a 14-year-old boy). Here are my findings.

 

Some answers have been edited for grammar and sentence structure, whilst keeping the content the same.

 

In five words or less, describe your sex life.


I thought I’d start off the survey with this because it got the mind jogging. These were my favourite answers:


“Too fast and too furious”


“Only old men want me”


“Tried all two sex positions”


“Kinky A.F.”


“Lonely, rare & kind of sad tbh”


“Experimental, biting, gymnastic”


“Like a horse orgy”


“Lit”


Have you ever used a sex toy? (DIYs are valid, too!)


Having lived in a fairly conservative country for the majority of my life, I wasn’t too sure what to expect. I’m glad many people use sex toys – it’s healthy. And if it’s your thing, you do you! Literally!


21.7 percent said No.


78.3 percent said Yes.


Which sex toy(s) have you used?


Now, I can’t type out every single response, but I can show you the ones I found the most intriguing. It’s a given that responses such as “dildo” and “vibrator” will be present, so I’m going to leave those ones out.


“Where do I begin? I own all the usual ones, vibrators, magic wand, glass dildos, five butt plugs, including one with a tail and my very own fucking machine – that has to take the cake! Not to mention the bondage gear and other implements of *ass* destruction”


“A wooden rolling pin with a condom on top” – DIY queen!


“My partner’s shit”


“My ex-girlfriend and I were interested in using sex toys but never had one, so one night we used a carrot… yep, straight from the fridge. I will never live that down”


“An entire horse outfit with horse dick strap-on and butt plug tail”


And, my personal favourite – “I don’t use toys, that’s gay”


How often do you watch pornography?


I was quite surprised at this outcome, too. I thought that most university students were frequent watchers of porn, given the many conversations I’ve had with my own friends, however, the results show otherwise.


13 percent said Never!


42 percent said Sometimes


26.2 percent said Often


18.8 percent said Very Often!


What’s your favourite genre of pornography?


“Amateur” – this answer was, by far, the most frequent response. And I’m not shocked because, like, same.


“Lesbian”


“Bondage/BDSM”


“This sounds bad – but I tend to find pornos that resemble chicks I know… can’t have the real thing, so I guess this is second best haha”


“Horses from My Little Pony, my favourite is Rainbow Sprinkles”


“Any, as long as it gets me off. I don’t discriminate” – A good answer.


“I think Porn is evil and a sin.” – The BEST answer.

 

Have you ever had a casual hook-up?


36.2 percent said No


63.8 percent said Yes


Have you ever used a dating app for a hook-up?
If so, which app(s) have you used?


40.6 percent said I haven’t!


36.2 percent said Tinder


5.8 percent said Grindr


4.3 percent said My Little Pony-related apps, such as Pat My Pony and My Little Pony Dating Sim


13.1 percent used other dating apps such as Bumble, Plenty of Fish, Hot Shit and various social media applications.


Would you consider yourself a ‘dom’ or a ‘sub’ in the bedroom?


21.7 percent said Dominant


33.4 percent said Submissive


44.9 percent said Both, I’m versatile!


Have you ever gotten frisky on campus?


65.2 percent said No (I’m innocent!)


34.8 percent said Yes (Naughty!)


What’s the most romantic place on campus?


“The treehouse” – Loads of people responded with this location. I didn’t know that it was a hotspot for being frisky!


“The Rainbow Room” – this was also a popular response. It’s a safe space for rainbow students on our City Campus with comfy sofas and board games, so it’s no surprise that this was a recurring answer. Cute.


“None. If you consider uni campuses are romantic then you’re really fucking weird. Stop that shit. People go to university to learn and to study, not to fuck or watch you fuck. Get a room” – I think we struck a nerve here!


“Curry chips place at the cafeteria. Curry chips is love”


“The corner where the tutors chain-smoke”


“WT. It’s inspirational looking out there”


“Never done anything romantic on campus but to all the couples hooking up in WG by the studios. Fuck off please”


And, coincidentally, “WG building near the studios”

 

What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?


Buckle up, guys. I’ve hand-picked the most interesting, absurd and kinky answers for your reading pleasure. I’ve left out the most popular answers, which were along the lines of “choking”, “being tied up” and “being spanked”. I just have to say, y’all are some kinky people.


“Left my gf tied up naked on my bed while I went out for a few hours. Came home, fucked her brains out and shoved my cock so far down her throat she threw up. Then made her lick it up off my dick”


“Had sex in a high school chapel”


“Had my ankles and wrists cuffed together and toys plugging both holes while my partner (at the time) dripped candle wax on my ass, before taking photos of the results”


“I was once tied up on a massage table and tickled. The nipple clamps I had put on me were vibrating and vibrated off my nipples, and the ropes tied to the roof came undone. It was an interesting and comedic introduction to bondage”


“While my girlfriend and I were doing anal, I pissed into her ass, slurped it up, spit it into her mouth, and then told her to swallow. I then got her to piss in my mouth. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it”


“I once took a shit and used it as lube”


“A fortnut royale”


“I dutch-ovened a chick once, but it was accidental. The reason it’s kinky is because we were both kinda into it? We’ve yet to try some different food combinations”


“My boyfriend once stuck a cucumber inside me, took it out and ate it”

 

I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to participate in the survey. There were some hilarious answers in here, some brutally honest, some sad and some too long to include in this article. It was quite an adventure journeying through the responses, but nevertheless, I am now filled with more knowledge about sex and AUT students’ sex lives than one should ever have access to.

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