Kotahitanga #4: I Miss Spiritual Conception

KOTAHITANGA | COLUMN | MAHIMAHI / SEX

Written by Hirimaia Eketone (they/them) | @hiri_music | Te Ao Māori Editor

Kia ora e hoa ma, welcome back to Kotahitanga, your local column piece full of spicy tidbits and a plethora of Māori mana. While preparing for this issue I had to rack my brain for creative ways to address the issue of Sex in the Māori ao. So, instead of our usual Te Reo lessons, I opt for a more thorough in-depth look into Māori views of sexuality. A little disclaimer- not every Māori person or tribe will agree with everything I say, so please take this little spiel as an opinion, not a blatant fact!

Ka tahi, I feel it is necessary to address my least favourite topic- the effect of  colonialism on our culture and what it stripped us of. Before the arrival of the British along with Christianity, there was no Māori gendered construct, at least not in the terms we have today. Our culture celebrates spirituality,connection to the motu and our Ao, which was evident pre-colonisation. The idea of specific gender roles and fixed gendered terms was not introduced until Christianity came to Aotearoa. Ahakoa there are no gendered pronouns within the Māori language. Common nouns such as ‘tane,’ ‘kōtiro’ and ‘wahine’ were only deemed necessary for translation into English and are now often mistaken as representing some form of gendered reo within Te Reo Māori. When conversing, we focus more on the context of what or who we are describing - are we talking directly to someone? Do we have ownership over the object we ask for? ( more on this coming in future issues- we’ll get there). How far away is the object we are describing, right here, over there, out of sight, behind us? These context clues help out more than any form of gendered terms. To be completely honest, the gender of a person does not affect how we view or speak of them. So with that set up for us, let’s take a deeper dive into the Māori view on sex, reproduction, and autonomy.

Reproduction in the Māori ao is incredibly sacred, but not constrained to beliefs such as the Christian view of no sex before marriage. Whenever life is willingly conceived, it is beautiful, signifying the cycle of life beginning anew through the reproductive system of the parent. For this same reason, shedding blood each month as a part of your period is also considered sacred. You are expected to stop daily duties, chores, and responsibilities to rest and take care of your body. Each menstrual cycle is believed to represent steps through the cycle of life and is treasured. Due to these teachings, I learned to appreciate and love something that had caused me much dysphoria and embarrassment. Though the western system tries its best ( sometimes ) to teach young students the science behind puberty, the system set up by the patriarchy continuously pushes menstrual cycles into a little box of shame. I am so thankful for the Māori approach to the sacred tapu of our bodies as it has helped me learn to love the previously unlovable parts of myself. 

When it comes to views on chastity and pre-marital sex, besides the original Māori views that came before Christianity, I’m not entirely sure if there is a consensus. It is again important to note that many different tribes will have different opinions - the differences between each Māori tribe may seem subtle, but they are evident. In my own experience with whanau, it differs from person to person, which is most likely due to which branches of which tribes adopted and stuck with Christianity or other religions after colonization. While my immediate family may have different views, in general, I have seen an overwhelming number of my extended family support other members who have had kids- the saying “it takes a village” has never been more applicable than about Māori love and support. This support system and cultural celebration have formed my views on humanity as sexual beings, and I am very happy to share them with you all!

So what’s the point of all this, you may ask? Well, as I have traversed these last few Debate issues with you all, I am hoping to instill a little bit of Māori culture into multiple aspects of your life. Past learning the reo or focusing on pronunciation, I believe there are some ataahua ways of viewing life from different cultural lenses. I love my culture and our connection to the whenua, people, and the stars. If by reading this column you acquire another lens for your worldview collection, I will be one happy writer.

I'll be back to the basics in the next couple of issues, with more vocab and sentence structure work to buff out the reo in your hinengaro.

Ma te wa e hoa ma!