What Your Childhood Cartoon Crush Says About You
By Vivien Whyte (she/her) and Nam Woon Kim (he/him)
Illustrated by Yi Jong (she/they)
Let’s be honest here, we all had a crush from the 2D world that captured our young imaginations, and there’s no shame in it. Whether it was a sexual awakening, or just a fleeting crush, we’re here to expose you - and maybe ourselves - and unpack what this means from the comfort of our armchairs.
Misato from Neon Genesis Evangelion
You’re either in the comments ‘ironically’ calling people mommy, or that’s what people call you - there is no in- between. Chances are you also crushed on Revy from Black Lagoon and Major Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell... I’m starting to see a pattern here.
Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender
You say I can, we say fix him! It might take a couple seasons but what do you have to lose?
WereGarurumon from Digimon
We reckon this one speaks for itself, but Nam wants to add that in 2022 bashing furries is corny and lame! You also had a ‘I was born in the wrong generation’ phase that never quite ended. It was cute back in high school, but you’re in uni now.
Tigress from Kung Fu Panda
Dom in the streets, sub in the sheets. Simple as that.
The Horse from Spirit
Would it be too basic to say you were that kid in school who was adamant they weren’t a horse girl but secretly had a closet full of little figurines? Your dating past has been a copy and paste of the tall, dark, and silent type. You’re also a die hard Harry Styles fan. I don’t make the rules.
Nick Wilde from Zootopia
You’re either secretly a furry or have a brat kink... or both. Whether that’s a secret to you or to others is anybody’s guess. You’ve tried to use logical reasoning to explain away this crush but there’s no denying it, there’s something about that smirk that just makes you feel something.
Gill from Finding Nemo
Let me guess, he’s got a soft side only you can see. Mean to everyone else but you. On an unrelated note, have you considered therapy?
Kakashi from Naruto
Growing up your parents and teachers alike praised you for being mature and well mannered. The complex you developed as a result means that you proudly date older people. But as you’ve gotten older you’ve learnt the hard way there’s a reason those people can’t get a date their own age.
Shego from Kim Possible
There’s a high chance you dress like Shego and your nicotine addiction is alive and well. Your commitment issues manifest themselves in both your relationships and your ever-changing hair colour.
Tadashi from Big Hero 6
You’re a simp. Your standards for love have been set by the likes of Howl, K-dramas and the ‘I Love You Baby’ scene from 10 Things I Hate About You. You don’t need to be a fortune teller to realise you’ve suffered from your fair share of heartbreak, but there’s much more to come.
Chrollo Lucilfer from Hunter x Hunter
If your bias was Chrollo you fancy a first date at a nice bar, or the speakeasy you not so subtly suggested. If nothing interests you on tap and you’re not in the mood for a cocktail, it’s all about the reds! Honestly, we could do a whole piece on the Phantom Troupe alone - I know y’all were into Hisoka and Shizuku too.
Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon
You roll your jeans up, have perfected your winged liner, and listen to Girl in Red. But it took you until you’re 23 to realise the signs were right in front of you.