Giving myself delirium for a student magazine

DEGENERATE GUIDES & ALTERED STATES COLUMN | ISSUE THIRTEEN | SPOOKY

Written by Isaac Tenzing | Drugs Columnist 

“In an era with so many options to biohack and experience ecstasy and wonder and freedom, unfortunately people are going to take the skeeviest way to that path and unfortunately Darwin will claim his quota.” - Jillsa Goodwitch, The Drug Users Bible 3.7.1 Datura

Yeah, fuck. I knew if I stared any longer at this particular seed, my entire spirit would be thrown off balance. This game plan hinged solely on keeping my mental TV channel on static. The less anticipation of any potential horror, the better. But if I didn’t consume this right now, perhaps I may never have the courage again.

Unless you were Bob Flanagan or happen to be Steve-O, I might go out on a limb and assume you prefer your genitals to stay exactly where you last saw them. With spectacular depictions of tongue and penis mutilation, climaxing on Erowid like a Lars von Trier movie, deliriants perhaps have the worst reputation of any drugs, in any class, from any period in history. Deliriants share far more in common with psychosis than with traditional psychedelia. In short, it’s what people who haven’t done it think LSD does. And there is no darker emblem to this figurehead than datura. As undeniably sensationalised and fabricated as a proportionate amount of datura tales are, many are undeniably true, and one cannot deny its place in forum mythology. Bizarre, frightening, and funny, but always with a heavy emphasis on the horrors of self-inflicted delirium.

With that in mind, I choose my dose with caution. I’m downcast to learn each seed could contain anywhere from 1 to 7 times the potency of the next. It’s largely understood that for portioning datura, or in my case Brugmansia (nearly pharmacologically identical in terms of alkaloid content and dosing), this might not be possible. In fact, it’s arguable that due to this disparity, no safe dose of these seeds exists. Full stop. The question now boils down to how much I am prepared to poison myself under the guise of total and utter bullshit “self-experimentation” while being able to report on it fairly. 

(Potential legal disclaimer: I was going to do this regardless of whether Debate let me publish it lol, nobody encouraged me to do this, and I don’t encourage any copycats, like for real you’d be a total moron to.) 

“Medical papers are awash with details of the adverse effects, which can include seizures, hyperthermia, wide-complex dysrhythmias, cardiovascular collapse, failure of organ systems, rhabdomyolysis, and liver, kidney and brain damage.” – Dommonic Milton Trout – The Drug Users Bible 3.7.1 Datura

Found within the Solanaceae family scopolamine, hyoscyamine, and atropine are three potent alkaloids responsible for all the mental mayhem. Found in Hamlet as well as used by shamans, surprisingly, scopolamine-containing botanicals have been utilised for healing in historical and ritualistic contexts for multiple millennia. In contemporary use, though, the trips you hear about will likely share zero parallels, instead mostly consisting of minors displaying signs of gross ignorance and naivety regarding their health and that of others.

With respect to all of the above, the notion that there is a theoretically endless amount of drugs to try, and aware that my risk assessment had become blurred at best, I decided to sample just one seed. A dose, although small, was still able to induce a potent anticholinergic discomfort.

T+0:00 – Downed with water, I now wait. Although I have smoked datura leaves previously, I understand that, at least due to the longer half-life, oral consumption is another beast.

T+0:45 – The first signs of psychoactivity emerge. A mental strangeness is looming in the background, but by no means impairing. I can rule out placebo.

T+1:00 – I become a bit flushed, and sensations have manifested into the foreground of my mind. My focus starts to sway, but I am fully conscious that I’ve consumed a drug at this time.

T+2:00 – The psychoactivity is fully present, and I suspect I’ve reached the peak. I feel a bit relieved, as although I am indeed intoxicated, I am still conscious and in control of my actions. Had I selected a different seed, perhaps I’d not have been so lucky. I have a particularly drunken, dream-like headspace, and a blurring of vision. I attempt to pour myself some Coke and spill it on the countertop. Focusing on tasks takes considerable effort. My thoughts are now scattered.

T+3:30 – The intensity has stayed stagnant, more or less. When I turn my head or dart my eyes, my vision needs to play catch-up, feeling ever so slightly out of sync. Luckily, it didn’t cause any disruptions. I decided to go for a walk, an idea that could be fatal in a stronger dosage range and is not encouraged. I stood by the pedestrian crossing when the road suddenly began to magnetically stretch. This was the only hallucination I experienced, but it was blatant and unmistakable.

T+4:00 – I think the comedown has begun. The duration of Brugmansia or datura can range wildly, even approaching multiple days. I consider myself very lucky this was the card I had drawn.

T+6:00 – I slowly come back down to base, but lingering after-effects do persist through the evening.

It’s clear that I was lucky enough to just get away with this one. Considering a single, tiny seed was able to induce a potent, drunken, and mildly hallucinogenic state, I think the message is loud and clear: don’t fuck around. This drug class is fascinating, and although I only scratched the surface, I’m pretty happy to hang up my coat here. Most people struggle to fit in during a traditional psychedelic trip (which arguably makes you more functional afterwards), so taking something that gambles on being less functional probably doesn’t have wide appeal. With such significant military interest in this drug class as weapons, trying to find any recreational value here really is a fool’s errand. Self-experimenters will continue to self-experiment, but utilising harm reduction in the case of deliriants is a must. I’ll reiterate that although I narrowly got away with it, don’t expect yourself to be so lucky.