Switching It Up - Inclusive Sex Positions for all
Let’s face it, the missionary position isn’t for everyone. As a gay man, when I first started learning about sex it was from the media. Inherently heterocentric, seeing missionary after missionary concealed by weighted duvet covers in every movie and show wasn’t much help. When I wanted to learn about different positions, the only way that I got to see what other men did with other men was, of course, in porn. Thankfully we have come a long way since then, but it’s still important to show the diversity of sex positions that work for all, not just your religious mum and dad. Straight, gay, bi, or anywhere along the spectrum, check out some common, and less common, positions that can work for you.
A position that's both intimate and relaxing. One person gets to take the reins with this one, and they'll be rewarded with an awesome view of the other's body—especially their face. Plus, for the person being ‘sporked’ your hands are free to explore other erogenous zones. If you like the Spoon sex position, you'll love the Spork. Instead of lying on your sides, you’ll stay flat on your back while your partner positions their body at a 90-degree angle in between your legs. This works for all types – for lesbian lovers they may simply enjoy the stimulation of their genitals touching, or they could use dildo or a strap-on if they prefer.
Both people controlling the movements, you rock back and forth to get into a satisfying rhythm that works for you both. At first, getting into this position might require some flexibility - there is a lot of leg-over-leg action and hip spreading. But once you're there you can both lean back and let your pelvises put in work. For the one lying down, your pelvis should be above the others while your legs bend to the side of their body. (some googling may be helpful before attempting this one.)
This position is both pleasurable and comfortable. But that does not mean that the position is boring. This position is a great way for you both to view each other, especially if you do it in front of a mirror. This way, you get to watch yourself getting off. Essentially this one is about getting one person to sit on the edge of the bed (or... chair...) and the other sit on them, facing away.
This position is always on trend, but I am surprised at how many people don’t understand that the back is also a hypersensitive area for most people. So yes – though one is being penetrated from behind, the real key to this is to incorporate some back play. People don't realise how hypersensitive their backs can be. The next time you're doing it doggystyle, have your partner glide a feather along your back during penetration. It's guaranteed to hype up the sensation. Plus - this position guarantees easy hair access. For people that love a little hair pulling during sex, and when you're looking for pressure but not pain, grab from the root of the hair. If you're looking for a bit more pain in that pleasure, grab from the end ( just make sure you are both onboard with this.) So - get on all fours, then have your partner kneel behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you, and let the dogs out!
Sex can be an important part of our lives, and can be an access point to greater mental and physical health. Long story short, sex can be great and trying out a variety of positions can help keep it great! Our bodies are in a constant state of change and with that the way we interact sexually will also change. Our wants, needs and desires also transform as we age and it only makes sense to flow and go with the change of our sexual desires. The next time you have sex, rather than just doing the same thing that you did last time think about trying one of these positions. Take off the autopilot, have some fun and above all, be safe and be consensual!