The Love Language of Playlists

ARTS | AROHA / LOVE

Written by Jed Scott (he/him) | @jed__scott | Contributing Writer

Illustration by Stella Roper (they/she) | @dodofrenzy | Arts Editor

In 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman introduced one of the most widely recognised theories in relationship psychology. This framework is still widely used to this day, providing a better understanding of how people give and receive love. Of course, I’m talking about The 5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts. That last one, Receiving Gifts, is often the trickiest to navigate for those who don’t consider it their predominant language (myself included). Finding the right gift for a special someone can be daunting. Especially if arts and crafts aren’t your strong suit, then the odds are truly stacked against you.

Despite that, I’ve found there’s always been one thing I could fall back on when I needed a thoughtful and personal gift for someone special: a playlist.

Ah yes, the humble playlist. Whether you’re the type who’s constantly starting new ones and abandoning them after three songs, or you’ve dumped your entire listening history into one chaotic mess (organise your library, please), playlists have become our primary way of curating and consuming music. The art of music curation has changed drastically with each era of technological innovation, from recording songs onto cassette tapes and burning CDs to the golden age of illegal downloads. But in today’s age, we are gifted with the streamlined convenience of streaming platforms such as Spotify and Apple Music (and not to forget SoundCloud, if you’re a true supporter of the niche and upcoming). Despite these metamorphoses, the love of the playlist has remained constant. There will always be someone trying to win over their crush with the perfect collection of songs.

As you painstakingly analyse the extensive music library to select just the right tracks for you-know-who, a shock of second-guessing rushes through your body – stunlocked. Is this song too cheesy? Too obscure? Should I include songs they already know, or go full deep-cut mode? It’s a one-step-forward, two-steps-back kind of process. While it might seem ridiculous to stress this much over a playlist, the pressure is real for a reason.

Playlists are acts of emotional labour. They help you express feelings when words fall short. They can reflect your personality, your values, and your memories. Sending a song to someone can possess a multitude of hidden codes for someone, either through the lyrics, the instrumentation, or the mood of the song itself. In short, creating a playlist for someone is an act of vulnerability, especially if it's for someone you care about deeply. But in a cruel twist of irony, all that effort and emotional nuance can feel like it vanishes the moment you hit share. Because at the end of the day, it’s not even about the songs - it’s the thought that really counts. For someone whose love language is gift-giving, the fact that you created something just for them is more than enough. Liking the music is just a bonus.

That said, curating a playlist that feels meaningful might be harder than ever in 2025. The digitalisation of music (of everything, really) has made it easier yet less impactful to share the music we love. Yes, platforms like Spotify and Apple Music are convenient, but they strip away the intimacy and personal touch of physical media like CDs or Cassettes. It’s hard to convey emotional depth when all you’ve done is click a few buttons on a screen. No handmade cover art and no scribbled tracklist. Just a bunch of 1's and 0's. Pretentious as it may sound, gifting a mixtape really does work best when you can physically hand it over to someone.

But let’s not completely throw streaming under the bus. One of the beautiful things about modern music platforms is accessibility. Nowadays, anyone can curate a playlist. We can all partake in the art of music curation, and more importantly, we can go at our own pace. You’re no longer limited by what you physically own. Back in the day, making a mixtape required a decent music collection, blank tapes or CDs, and recording equipment – all adding up to a hefty sum. Now, all you need is a streaming platform of your choice and a few spare minutes, and for that, I'm forever grateful. If someone has a desire to create a 250-track playlist dedicated to their favourite flute solos, they’re able to make it. Still, if you ever have the time and cash to spare, I highly recommend going the physical route when making a playlist for someone. Burn a CD. Make some dodgy cover art. Use glitter, old magazines, stickers - whatever you’ve got lying around. Show someone just how much they mean to you by committing the time to create something no one else could have made. It shows someone you have character, and that’s extremely attractive.

To hammer home my whole point about why the playlist is a perfect vessel to express affection for someone, I want to conclude by sharing a personal memory relating to the topic. When I was a kid, my Dad would make a custom CD mixtape for me and my brother every Christmas. More than any toy or scooter, those mixtapes will forever be the greatest gifts I've ever received. Those CDs were how I first discovered The Beatles, Outkast, Led Zeppelin, Harry Nilsson, Gary Numan, Interpol, and The Jacksons (all essential listening). They were the catalyst to my relationship with music, something that has deeply shaped my identity and self. When I hold those CDs in my hands now, they bear so much significance to not just my relationship with music, but the bond I had with my Dad over our shared love of music. Now, I'll never hesitate at the chance to make someone a playlist or a custom mixtape. It's one of the most earnest forms of self-expression, and I always struggle to find a gift for someone that holds the same depth of impact.

So, if you've never made a playlist for someone, CD or streaming, I highly recommend you give it a shot. Don't get caught up in your doubts. If there’s a song you used to embarrassingly obsess over as a kid, or a song that feels a bit too personal to you, put it in there. Share it with your partner, your sibling, your best mate, your mum. If it matters to you, it’s worth passing on.