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An erotica by Casta Lawson | Illustration by Yi Jong

Disclaimer: I am not into Minions at all, I just couldn’t think of anything to write. I’m sorry.

Stuart looked out of the window, yearning for the one whom he had so desperately lusted for since he first laid eyes on him. His heart skipped a beat as two little yellow figures rounded the corner. It wasn’t them, it wasn’t him. Stuart sighed. He longingly looked over the empty fruit bowl placed upon the newly polished chestnut side cabinet. “Banana…” he whispered as he imagined the one he desired, slowly and carefully placing each and every individual banana into the place it belonged. Such a silly little habit of his, so intricately designing the layout of something as simple as bananas. But that’s what Stuart found so intriguing about him...and he wanted to find out more.

It had been over an hour since they had left. What was taking them so long? Stuart once again looked out the window. It had been raining for days and each hour remained as gloomy as the one before. The rain pounded hard on the roof of the newly refurbished apartment while Stuart intently listened for any slight hint that they may have returned. Nothing. The rain was too loud to make out any sounds. Something touched Stuart on the back and he sat up in immediate shock. It was a warm and gentle touch - he knew he was safe. As he turned he caught a glimpse of yellow and he knew, they were back. “Banana,” he said reassuringly as he turned to face Bob, whom he had been chasing after for so long but could not have because of Kevin. Stuart was too afraid to make any moves as he knew that Kevin also had eyes for Bob. There was something about Bob that made him so...desirable. Maybe it was the way he did his six strands of hair every day, the way he wore his overalls that made you curious as to what was beneath. Or the fact that his height made him seem so innocent and vulnerable. Bob was the golden apple which grew in the centre of Eve’s Garden, and Stuart wanted nothing more than to indulge in the divine creation that was Bob. Bob stared Stuart in the eye and fondled with a bag he was holding, revealing nothing other than a banana. He began to slowly place them in the fruit bowl, one by one. And each time, Stuart felt the moment become more sensual. He was ready to pounce, the lion wanted a bite of his prey. Any moment now would be the perfect moment. He could feel his overalls tighten at the display Bob was showcasing. Stuart stepped forward. Bob stopped what he was doing and started at Stuart with lust. Could this be it? The moment Stuart had so dearly been waiting for. “Bana…” Stuart began.

"Stuart moaned and he noticed Bob’s overalls tightness once again. He aggressively ripped off Bob's clothing and turned him over revealing two perfectly round globes."

Stuart heard something drop at the doorway that stopped him in his tracks. As he turned he could already feel Kevin’s glare seething into the back of his head. He had crossed the line and now that Kevin had interrupted what could’ve been a beautiful moment, Stuart felt at a loss. He glanced at Kevin, whose angry glare could kill. Stuart sarcastically smiled as he turned to Bob and winked. Although Kevin had clearly asserted dominance in this situation, Stuart was not about to give up. He had a prize he was aiming for and he wasn’t going to let Bob submit to someone so...undeserving. He turned and strutted out of the room, leaving Kevin and Bob alone. A mistake perhaps? Or perhaps not. Stuart walked into the bathroom, moans echoing throughout the apartment as he began to draw a bath. He listened in disgust. He wanted so bad for Kevin’s moans to be his own. But he knew his time would come soon enough. After a while the room grew quiet...quiet enough for Stuart to recognise it was time. He quickly dampened a musty cloth with chloroform as he made his way back into the room.

Stuart looked down at his handy work. It looked believable. Scarlet bracelets stained the yellow wrist of Kevin’s limp body as he lay in the water. Carefully placing the knife behind the toilet, Stuart proceeded to clean himself up and search for Bob, closing the door behind him. It was fairly late. Stuart had hopes of finding Bob as he could now pick up from where they stopped earlier that day. As he turned into the master bedroom he could hear deep breathing underneath the sheets. Stuart recognised who it was immediately as he made his way over, with only one thing on his mind. He ripped away the covers revealing Bob, wide eyed and awake staring up at Stuart. They both knew what was coming. Stuart lent down but was stopped. “B-Banana?" Bob exclaimed, as he looked submissively at the door. “Banana,” Stuart said reassuringly as he took Bob’s cheek in his palm. He examined Bob’s face, and before he could think about it he pressed his lips to Bob’s pouty lips. It was warm and soft, just as Stuart had craved for the longest of times.

It felt electric, and he was sure Bob felt it too. As their tongues interlocked Stuart could feel Bob’s overalls tighten. He felt a hand reach around the back and begin to affectionately fondle with the clasp of his own overalls. Bob was desperate to reveal the goods concealed beneath. The clothing dropped and a magnificent yellow glow illuminated the room. “Banana…?” Bob said as he marvelled at the sight before him. Stuart slyly smiled and nodded his head, slowly pushing Bob down. The feeling was eccentric, it was like letting your hand sit in a golden river of flowing silk as the warmth of the sun shines upon you. Bob looked up and blushed, gently grazing the surface with his teeth. He began incorporating his tongue, rotating it around like he was absorbing drops of butter from a cob of corn. Stuart moaned and he noticed Bob’s overalls tightness once again. He aggressively ripped off Bob's clothing and turned him over revealing two perfectly round globes. He eagerly placed one hand on Bob’s shoulder and pushed him to his knees...

Bob was Stuart’s greatest conquest. As he looked over to the right he smiled fondly at his sleeping companion. Bob had submitted to Stuart, Kevin was dead, everything was going so well. Stuart lightly brushed the hair out of Bob’s face. Bob awoke, smiling at Stuart as he rolled over and slipped out of the previous night’s battle grounds. “Banana? Stuart asked as he watched Bob head for the door. “Banana,” Bob replied, pointing to his lower region. Panic struck. Stuart grabbed the handcuffs he had intended to use the night before and chased after Bob as he headed for the bathroom, only to be stopped by the screams as he stared upon the corpse of Kevin. Stuart immediately realised what had happened and silently prepared the handcuffs. As Bob picked up the knife and turned, Stuart attacked. The knife flew out of Bob’s hand as he stood there in shock, staring at Stuart unbelievably in the eye. Stuart locked the handcuff around Bob’s wrist and led him out of the bathroom. Despicable....


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