Top 5 Campus Cryptids: What They Study (and Do for Fun)

FEATURE | PŪRĀKAU / MYTHOLOGY

Written by Stu Paul (he/him) | Contributing Writer

Bigfoot

An athlete since his youth, the basketball prodigy Bigfoot (he/him) is pursuing his studies in Environmental Science and Conservation - but his real passion and pursuit is a career in basketball. When he’s not chatting up baddies over a beer or 4, you’ll find Bigfoot working on his jump-shot and emulating his favourite characters from the popular anime ‘Kuroko no Basketball’. While he does have a sincere love and care for the environment and deeply wishes to contribute to its conservation (in the vein of his hero David Attenborough), he is often sidetracked from his studies by his basketball training, anime watching, and habitual puffing on the devil’s lettuce.

Starsign: Sagittarius

Cafe Order: Large iced mocha with an extra shot of espresso, whipped cream on top, and a chocolate drizzle.

Mothman

Described by his few university friends as a bit of an intense and brooding character, Mothman (he/him) is embarking on a study of Structural Engineering with a particular personal focus on bridge construction (and demolition). An aspiring E-sports champion (ranked in the global top 100 for both League of Legends and Starcraft 2), Mothman is also a bit of a film buff with an impressive physical media collection of DVDs and VCR tapes from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s. His favourite film of all time would be a toss-up between Psycho (1960), The Blair Witch Project (1999), and Donnie Darko (2001). 

Starsign: Scorpio

Cafe Order: Cold brew — strong

Chupacabra

Chupacabra (she/her) has been at the top of every class academically since she was just a little bloodsucking demon girl. With school marks that would ensure entry into any course of study she wanted, Chupacabra eventually opted to hone in on her ADHD hyper-focus of Phlebotomy. If she’s not analysing blood samples in the university lab or chatting online with her long-distance partner Bunyip (working overseas in the Australian mines), she’s playing tabletop Dungeons & Dragons with her pals - vicariously living out fantasy adventures as her dark-elf mage character Mr Schneebly. 

Starsign: Virgo

Cafe Order: Matcha latte with oat milk, lightly sweetened, plus a chia seed pudding on the side.

Mokele-Mbembe

There’s not a cryptid alive who knows more about dinosaurs than Mokele-Mbembe (she/her). Descending from an extinct line of ancient sauropods herself, the plucky Palaeontology student is obsessed with all things dinosaur (but don’t ask for her opinion on the Jurassic World films). She is also known locally as the singer of a doom metal band called Precambrian Ejaculation! Her favourite video game is retro Quake, for which she hosts multiplayer LAN parties with her friends where they stay up all night listening to heavy metal and drinking beer - but don’t worry, Mokele-Mbembe ALWAYS stays on top of her university studies. 

Starsign: Capricorn

Cafe Order: Double hot chocolate with whipped cream, plus a slice of vegan chocolate cake.

The Loch Ness Monster

The Loch Ness Monster (they/them) is, first and foremost, an artist. Eschewing the traditional family study path of Marine Biology for a degree in the Fine Arts (much to the chagrin of Loch Ness Senior), the artist who goes by the professional moniker LNM is one of the most innovative and dynamic sculptors to emerge from the creative arts scene in recent years. If they aren’t conceptualising their next award-winning visual arts masterpiece, you’ll find LNM writing and performing introspective and political slam poetry in various local indie music bars and underground haiku venues.

Starsign: Pisces

Cafe Order: Lavender honey latte & an almond croissant.